Revision Surgery - implant removal and re do uplift

Happy Thursday everyone!

(I should have posted this yesterday, but just didn't get round to it!)

So, I’m now two weeks on from the revision surgery to my ‘good’ boob. Removal of the silicone implant that was put in last year, which I naively thought would give me good symmetry to a boob that had been completely removed!! Always listen to the experts, they really do know best ;-)

As we all know, that didn’t work, so I had the uplift in January this year, which still left me with a degree of asymmetry. Thankfully my surgeon agreed to re do the surgery for me, which involved removal of the silicone implant and to re do the uplift.

It’s still early days, but I am already feeling much happier and more confident in how it looks. The dressings are now off and I can see the scarring. To be honest, I’m so over them now. I just want to be able to put all this to bed and stop having looming operations hanging over my head. I know I am never going to be the old me, but I can work on the new version of me! I have been allowing myself time for ‘shit to settle’ and I am getting much better with accepting it all.

I’m still feeling pretty shattered, but I make myself get up, get ready and do a few things each day. Going back to work is making me feel anxious, but I know the routine will be good and what I need. It can be too easy to loose confidence, and every time I have surgery I feel myself go backwards to a degree. Simple things like not driving for a few weeks. The thought of getting in a car alone scares the life out of me. It shouldn’t I know and I will push myself to do it, but equally I am nervous.

I started to take Tamoxifen again last week. I had decided in the summer that all the side effects were actually making me feel so bad, to have a break. So I stopped in August and did feel better to start with. No flushes, no aching joints etc, but deep down there is always this niggle that if I stop taking it completely am I putting myself at risk from the cancer returning. So I decided to start again. And welcome back to hot flushes by the dozen!! Im currently sat in my lounge with the back doors wide open trying to cool down from a shower, hair wash and blow dry!! Brain fog is a biggie for me at the moment too. I set out to do something and literally forget what it is I wanted to do or say. Insomnia too, it’s not great. But ear plugs actually help, blocking out those annoying nighttime sounds, (snoring, rain, wind) ;-)

As usual, I remain eternally grateful. Grateful for our wonder NHS and their screening. The specialists, the doctors, the surgeons, nurses, healthcare staff, EVERYONE! Without that early screening I would have been walking around, blissfully unaware of what was going inside me. Please remember, even if you fell well, If anything feels different to your normal, don’t be scared to get it checked and please. If you are called for screening GO!!!! In the meantime, keeping feeling those boobs once a month, know what is your normal!!!

I also want to give a big shout of of love for all the ladies I have connected with on social media over the last 2 years. Ladies going through the same, if not worse than me. Who get up everyday, they polish their crowns and they live their best lives. My daily inspirations to remain positive and not let shit get you down!!! Thank you, I LOVE YOU!

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